Normal Is What You Make It
by DarlingVioletta777
Summary: How does this normal thing pan out? Veronica & Logan.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Normal Is What You Make It (1/2)

**Author**: fickledame

**Rating**: R

**Word Count**: Around 7683 for both parts.

**Spoilers**: For every episode shown. No spoilers for Donut Run.

**Pairing**: Veronica/Logan

**Summary**: How does this normal thing pan out?

**A/N**: My beta readers _moire2_ and _semby_ rock. A lot. Additional thanks to _ethereal65_ for the title!

Loud music pulsed from the CD system with an off-beat, pumping rhythm that befitted a hidden warehouse with a coked-up DJ and a crowd of arm-waving people, rather than a solem upmarket hotel. Empty cans and bottles were strewn across the table and crumpled bags of chips littered the sofa. A Playstation was laid out in front of the TV with discarded controllers snaking haphazardly across the floor.

There was a red bra on the floor. Later, Veronica would wish that when she'd seen it, she had turned around, driven home and crawled into bed. Instead she cautiously walked forward to Duncan's closed bedroom door. The palms of her hands came to rest on the oak as she held her breath.

She heard a creaking sound, followed by a moan.

The handle felt icy cold under her fingers. She glanced over her shoulder at the empty room, willing something to distract her. Nothing did. She swallowed down the feeling of trepidation as she pulled the handle down.

The room was dark and it took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to the writhing bodies in the middle of Duncan's bed. The covers were piled on the floor – no modesty here.

Kendall was sitting upright, one of her hands wrapped in her cascading dark hair and the other against Duncan's gleaming chest. His head was thrown back, her name a chant on his lips.

Veronica lifted her arm, the cool metal in her hand a welcome relief from the heat tangible in the air. Her thumb flicked over the safety release and Duncan's blue eyes suddenly shot to her own, a frown marring his face. It happened before she knew what she was doing, a loud noise, the silver bullet streaming across the room and the blood – oh, god the blood. Kendall's shrill screams racketing through the room as Veronica shouted, "Shut up, just shut the hell up!"

Duncan's lifeless expression shook her as she stared at his alabaster skin. His fingers were outstretched, reminding her sharply of Lilly.

She blinked and Lilly appeared next to the bed, crimson blood oozing from the gash on her head. She tossed her hair and let out a giggle; her dead eyes sparkling with life.

"Murderer," Lilly whispered accusingly, cutting her amusement short.

"No!" Veronica gasped, her eyes flickering open.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she tried to move but found herself tangled in covers. She wriggled out of them and sat up, wiping her damp forehead.

She found herself shivering, even as the heavy air filled her lungs. The gleaming light from her alarm clock told her it was almost 3:00 A.M. It was also the forth time she had had the same dream. Four days since she found Duncan and Kendall together. Three days since they had broken up. Two days since he left town with his baby in tow. One day until she watched another friend be buried.

Veronica sighed and laid back down again. Life officially sucked.

------

_Stupid, stubborn stain, _Veronica complained to herself as she ferociously attacked the mark with a cloth and her trusty friend Mr Clean.

The door opened and she looked up to see a well-dressed woman enter. Veronica put down the cloth and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Can I help you?" she greeted, gesturing to the seat in front of her and they both sat down.

"Yeah," the blonde lady said, tucking a strand of her neat trimmed hair behind her ear. "It's a delicate subject."

"Delicate subjects are our specialty; we're very discreet," Veronica replied, smiling encouragingly.

"My h-husband, he gets a little, well, angry," she hesitantly began before stopping and taking a deep breath. The woman paused before resolve set across her features.

"Everyone loves him. He seems so sweet, but behind closed doors…" She trailed off and glanced down at her lap while running a hand over her abdomen.

"A year ago, he punched me in the stomach. I was three months pregnant, and I lost the baby."

Tears welled in her eyes, and she turned her head away from Veronica. The woman jerkily wiped tears from her face and took a long breath of air before turning forward.

"He said he'd stop, and crazy me, I believed him. Last week he slapped me, and I know it's going to get worse."

She looked up from the Kleenex she was twisting nervously. She met Veronica's eyes, a resolute look on her face.

"I'm pregnant again, and I'll be damned if I let him kill this baby, too. I want to get out of the relationship for the sake of my child, but all my money is tied up with his. If I leave him I'll end up with nothing, and he'll get visitation rights."

"What do you want us to do?" Veronica asked, pushing the box of tissues closer to the woman.

The woman grabbed one and dabbed at her eyes.

"I need a strong case against him so I have a leg to stand on in the court. Anything that shows what kind of person he is."

She fumbled in her purse, produced a card and handed it to Veronica.

"I can't stay here any longer; I'm supposed to be at the hairdressers. Any more details you need, just let me know with the contact details on that card. I can be reached any afternoon; he is either at work or playing golf."

"Okay -" Veronica paused as she skimmed over the card. "Anna, no problem. We'll get on it right away."

The door closed behind her and Veronica filed the card away, before picking up the cloth again.

"You won't win," she declared, rubbing the stain with renewed vigour.

------

Meg's locker was covered in pictures. Flowers adorned the floor beside it like a shrine.

_It's funny how no one else got this treatment, _Veronica decided. _Just the 09er that died._

It's not that she begrudged Meg; she didn't. _Really. _She remembered the sweet, laughing girl with the kind eyes and the spare cheerleader costume. And, occasionally, she thought of the pale Meg with an enlarged stomach and fearful expression as she pleaded with Veronica and Duncan not to let her parents send her child away.

She wondered what kind of father Duncan was. Did he rock the baby when she cried? Sing softly to her? Did he remember to take his medication?

_That isn't fair, _Veronica reminded herself. She had tried not to hate him for his sins or herself for missing all the signs. She should have known. The intrepid girl-detective missed her own boyfriend's cheating and lying. It was laughable.

She idly wondered what he called the child. Lilly, perhaps? No - the world didn't need another Lilly Kane. One was quite enough and Lilly would have been outraged if there were another. Lilly was the original, the best. Any other would be inferior.

Veronica glanced away from the locker and noticed Logan staring at her from across the hall. She stood against her own locker, arms wrapped protectively around her middle as she gazed at the display. He held the contact defiantly until Veronica felt herself flush. She didn't feel up to a Logan confrontation, so she turned back to her open locker, grabbed her Physics book and shoved it into her messenger back. Glancing back up, she saw he was gone.

Her phone beeped and she pulled it out of her pocket.

'_Would you like me to come to Meg's funeral with you?' _

Her friendship with Wallace was building back up slowly, but how could she ask him to support her through this when she hadn't been there when he needed her? Not to mention he would have to make it back from Chicago before the funeral started. She'd hoped he was back for good when he arrived at Veronica's on New Year's Eve to welcome 2006 in, but he had gone back the next day saying he wasn't quite ready yet to stay in Neptune.

'_I'll be okay, thanks.'_

Veronica began the walk to Physics when she saw Cassidy and Mac leaning close to each other, a smile gracing their lips.

_At least some people can be happy_, she thought, not too bitterly.

------

The crowd had already gathered around the open hole in the earth. The white coffin laid next to it with bright sunshine yellow flowers decorating the top. The people were a sea of black surrounding it. _I should have worn pink_, Veronica decided. She had worn red to Lilly's funeral, underneath her black cardigan. Not yet confidant enough to make a scene, but a tribute nonetheless.

Today, Veronica had a white rose to leave. It was silly really. She couldn't help but think of Meg as innocent and pure, but she didn't get pregnant by Immaculate Conception. She swallowed back an inappropriate laugh at the thought. She had giggled at Lilly's funeral. The sight of Celeste sobbing into her embroidered handkerchief was just too much to take, but the laugh turned into a sob and no one was any the wiser. Lilly would have done anything to see Celeste show some feeling about her. All it took was it took her death to make it happen.

She caught sight of the Mannings standing at the head of the party and her jaw tightened in response. Lizzie was clinging to Grace's hand. She was dressed in a sweeping black dress with a large hat reminding Veronica of a movie star from years gone by. Half-heartedly she swept the crowd for Duncan, knowing he wouldn't be there.

Veronica gulped hard when her eyes found the pristine, white coffin again. The brass handles gleamed in the sunshine. She winced and looked away. There had been too many funerals lately.

At Lilly's funeral, Duncan had stood next to his mother ramrod straight. She didn't want to think about Duncan. The image of Kendall riding him in their bed streamed through her mind and she gulped hard, but the pressure built in the back of her throat. It was like a knot holding a boat to dock. Her eyes were hot, and she blinked hard. She gulped again, and the knot broke. Hot, wet tears streamed down her face, catching in the line of her mouth.

She made a sound that didn't sound human, not even to her.

Her hands fisted hard, turning white as she hurried away before the swirling emotions hit her like a ton of bricks. She reached some trees by the side of the cemetery and let herself fall to the ground. Her head buried in her hands as the tears slid down her cheeks. When was it going to end? How much more did life have to throw at her? The image of Kendall and Duncan writhing in ecstasy taunted her and she tried to push it away. How selfish could she get? Thinking of her ex when Meg was lying cold in the ground. _Lilly, the party, Lianne, betrayed and betrayer, Logan, murder, Duncan, the lies, Wallace and Meg._ Sometimes she felt like it was going to swallow her whole – sometimes she wished it would. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed, unable to stop. She felt a steady hand rub her back carefully.

"Shh," the familiar voice comforted and she leaned into his touch. "It's okay."

His chest was warm and solid as his arm snaked around her and pulled her into his embrace. He knew. He understood. But she had to keep hating him just little, otherwise it would be so easy to drift away in his expressive brown eyes and not find a way back home again.

Veronica wanted normal. She _needed_ normal.

So, she took a shuddering deep breath, stood up and walked away.

------

"I don't know what to do," Veronica said, leaning back against her chair. "He's _clean, _Cliff. He holds doors open for little old ladies, he gives generously to charity. He hasn't any past convictions, his slate is squeaky. He doesn't leave visible bruises and it's always behind closed doors."

"I don't know what to suggest, V," Cliff replied, running a finger absently along his russet leather briefcase. "My cases are usually more cut and dry than this. I like the tawdry ones for a reason. Look at her records: she has a past conviction for fraud, she comes from the wrong side of the tracks – he'll get custody if she tries to divorce him."

"And if she divorces him now, she'll be left with no money to help bring up her child. Best case scenario," Veronica finished. Her fist smacked down on the table as she spat, "Goddamn it."

The door to her Dad's office clicked open and he motioned to Cliff to come in.

"No rest for the wicked," Cliff sighed as he stepped into the office.

Veronica skimmed over the page she had pulled up on John Walker, willing a past wrongdoing to appear but the page remained full of details of donations.

Slippery little weasel.

------

The sun was beating down on her skin as she sat in the parking lot of Neptune High, her fingers clenching around the steering wheel until they went white. Veronica found herself wishing it was cold. Just once, a freezing cold day in California. She wished she could wear an overcoat, a hat, scarf and gloves. Protective little shields to hide her from the world.

She caught sight of Weevil as he subtly glanced around him to make sure no one was watching he made his way over to the obnoxiously bright yellow car that Logan owned. She realised Logan was leaning casually against the side. They exchanged words, Logan's hand flying out as he expressively made his point. Weevil shook his head and motioned over his shoulder towards the school. They spoke for a second longer and then Logan took off towards the school, his strides long and sure.

Her fingers reached out and she yanked at the handle. She quickly locked the car and hurried towards Weevil who seemed to be in a deep reverie.

"What were you two talking about?" she asked.

"Curiosity killed the cat," he replied with a teasing smirk.

"Lucky they have eight more lives then, huh?" she replied tartly.

He nodded with the smirk still in place. Sometimes she really wanted to slap certain people.

"I can help, you know," Veronica offered with a shrug. "I kind of got to a dead end, but maybe if we all tried?"

"Help with what?" Weevil asked imperviously.

She sighed. It was going to be one of those days again, wasn't it? She should have stayed in bed. Stupid college applications with their attention to actual school attendance.

"Felix. Finding out who killed him. I assume you want to know?"

Weevil gave her a hard look before he softened.

"Your assistance might be needed," he admitted.

"You know where to find me," Veronica said, shifting her bag on her shoulder before taking off on the same route Logan had gone.

------

Veronica moved her salad around with her plastic fork for a good five minutes before she gave in and pushed it away.

The inane excited chatter of the surrounding tables was beginning to annoy her, creeping through her temples with an aching sensation. When someone leapt onto the 09er table and began to sing, she knew it was time to leave.

_Do people think this is a fucking musical? It isn't as if they were in an episode of Buffy. God. _

She stuffed her drink back into her bag and dropped the salad into the trash can. Veronica weaved through the crowds towards the parking lot. It was last year all over again. An AWOL/dead best friend, no boyfriend, and ostracized once again. This time she was being shunned over the stupid jury service. Getting alienated for making the right choices was getting old.

The cars shielded her as she weaved through them towards her LeBaron. A dark figure stepped into her viewpoint and she stopped sharply watching him. The leather and slouching gait was a dead giveaway for a biker and she frowned, wondering who it was that was cutting school during lunch to slip away.

Veronica hurried towards the next row of cars, ducking behind a van as she watched him mount his motorbike and rev the engine, before peeling off. She ran towards her car and jumped in, quickly started the engine and followed.

She realized quickly the biker was heading towards the River Styx and bit back a gulp. Memories of a strong hand pressing further and further into her air supply came to mind. Her chest felt tight and she struggled to take a breath at the thought. Veronica forced herself to calm down and pulled in further down the road out of sight.

The biker hopped from his bike and crossed the road, frustratingly keeping his helmet on. A large truck obscured the back of the motorcycle and she moved around, trying to get a view of the licence plate. Veronica bit her lip, trying to decide if she should get out of the car and have a look, but she decided it was too risky and sat back, ready to wait for as long as she had to, her camera on her lap ready.

A yawn escaped her lips and she blinked, willing herself to wake up. She normally took a flask of coffee with her, or in the very least a few cans of diet coke to perk herself up, but she had nothing to distract her. Sleeping had been rough in the past few weeks, drowsing off for a few hours before nightmares woke her up. The last few had centred on Duncan, but everything from her colourful history was being dragged up by her frustrating mind.

A few minutes later the biker came hurrying back out and leapt onto his bike. He took off at great speed and Veronica waited a second before following. He drove out into the busy intersection and to her annoyance, she saw the traffic had built up. She joined the back of the line as she glowered at the bike neatly weaving through the traffic and disappearing into the distance.

------

"Duncan?"

Her mouth hung open as she gazed at him in shock. He looked exactly the same. Why didn't he look different, she wondered. She felt different, like she'd aged a hundred years, but here he was – the same.

"Veronica," he greeted in return, running a hand briefly through his dark hair.

He looked to the side, a grimace on his features. He began to fidget with the books in his hands. Veronica's chest tightened at his reaction.

"Somewhere else you gotta be?"

He briefly met her eyes and then glanced around the hall.

"Uh, I'm late for class."

He stepped around her, and Veronica turned to watch his hasty escape. She didn't even get to ask about the baby before he ran away from her. Her stomach clenched as she hurried the opposite way down the hall.

_You'd think I'd be the one trying to get away from him. It is sick and wrong, but a little piece of me still cares._

------

When the chips were down, the files came out. Veronica sat pouring over the information she had, trying to distract herself from the gnawing feeling in her gut.

The sun from the stained glass window danced across the paper in front of her, in shades of azure and emerald.

Pages and pages of John Walker's background. Anna's scared expression shooting forward every time she closed her eyes. A baby's cry whispering in her mind.

Then it hit her.

------

What the hell was she thinking? Veronica knew it was bad idea when she let herself be convinced to go to Dick and Beaver's party. Mac had dropped so many subtle and then not-so-subtle hints about going, she felt awful about refusing. She was always begging favours from Mac, asking questions and getting her involved in her investigations. It wasn't too much to ask, was it? Accompany her in. Maybe have a drink. Let Mac hang out with Cassidy, then leave.

Her heart dropped when Veronica spotted Duncan, who she had convinced herself wouldn't be going. He was sitting with Dick, Luke, Logan and a couple of other guys, swigging beers and laughing loudly at crude jokes. Madison was draped next to Dick, shooting him supposedly seductive looks while Gia seemed to be getting more and more heartbroken when Dick shot smug looks to his friends that he was being fought over.

Veronica hovered by the door, looking around for Mac. A couple of girls brushed past her in skimpy bikinis, heading for the pool.

Mac suddenly appeared in front of her, waving as if she was on the other side of the room. Veronica curiously looked over her shoulder, but couldn't see anyone Mac would be greeting so enthusiastically. She looked back at the dark haired girl and she smirked when she noticed that her eyes were slightly glazed.

"Had a few too many, have we?"

"The punch is good," Mac hiccupped. "I see Duncan is here."

Veronica gave a short nod. "Indeed he is." There was silence for a second before she blurted out, "God, look at me. I'm a mess! I just wanted things to be normal again."

"What is normal anyway?" Mac asked, shaking her head for a second too long. "Being a trophy wife? Patriarchal social values?"

"You are the only person I know that can say patriarchal while wasted," Veronica laughed before sobering up at Mac's stern look. Veronica sighed and said, "Duncan seemed normal."

"Duncan is normal." Mac agreed before going on, "He's a shitty boyfriend that fucks around. That is normal around here. You got what you wanted Veronica, now you're complaining about it."

Mac's hand clapped over her mouth at Veronica's raised eyebrow. 

"Sorry," Mac mumbled.

"Excuse me," Veronica said, snatching a drink up from the tray of readily poured drinks and hurrying away, her head swimming with thoughts.

She walked briskly down the corridor before finding a quiet room. It was painted in a dark red, with wood panelling. Bookshelves filled two of the tall walls. Like the Casablancas' even knew what to do in a library. Veronica sunk down into one of the armchairs and gulped her drink down. She leaned her head back as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will the hot tears threatening to spill away.

Mac was right. Completely and utterly. She knew Duncan was a terrible boyfriend, but it didn't stop it hurting.

She leant forward as a wave of dizziness hit her. Her head felt murky and Veronica pressed her palms to her temples.

_I can't be drunk already_, she thought. _I've only had one._

Realization struck her like a punch in the gut. _How could I be so stupid?  
_

_Taking an already poured drink at an 09er party?_

Veronica jumped to her feet and paced for a second, thinking as fast as she  
could. Fear gripped at her as her breathing came in short bursts. She needed  
to find someone who she could trust. Mac was drunk already so wouldn't be  
much help and had no doubt disappeared with Cassidy by now. She reached the  
door and nervously twisted the handle. She could just stay in the library;  
no one was likely to go in. But she wouldn't know for sure.

She made up her mind and left the dim room and headed back towards the party  
that was in full swing. Veronica pushed through the crowds until she spotted  
Logan standing next to a girl, drinking from a large plastic cup of beer.

Veronica reached him and he turned to look at her with a cold look of  
indifference.

"Logan, can I talk to you?" she asked softly, hiding her shaking hands  
behind her back.

"No, not really," he replied, turning back to the pretty blonde girl.

"Please," she begged, gripping his arm in desperation.

He turned his attention back to her and surveyed her with narrow eyes. He  
took in her white face and nodded.

"Excuse me," he said to the girl with a smirk. He allowed Veronica to lead  
him out of the room again back into the library. She shut the door with a  
click.

"I - " she started, leaning against a chair as she fought to stay on her  
feet.

"You dragged me in here to have your wicked way with me?" he asked, his eyes  
glinting with amusement.

"No - " she said hurriedly before he interrupted again.

"Of course, you haven't accused me of anything in awhile, maybe you've  
thought up something really good!"

He snapped his fingers and she stared at him for a second as she tried to  
form a coherent thought.

"Get to the point already, I have places to go, hot chicks to bang."

"I did a really stupid thing," she blurted out.

"Wearing that top with those pants? I completely agree."

"Logan! Would you let me explain? I was upset about something, and I took a drink that was near the punch bowl; I don't know why. I just wasn't thinking, and I feel bad now, really bad. I think it was spiked, I don't know. You'd think I'd learned my lesson, but no. My head feels weird and I feel like just collapsing, but I'm scared." Her voice broke as  
she rambled.

He immediately dropped the act and stepped forward, putting his hand on her  
arm.

"It's okay, I'll take you home."

Her fingers curled around his soft jacket and she buried her head in his  
chest.

"Please don't leave me," she murmured.

------


	2. Chapter 2

------

"Veronica?"

Everything was dark. She felt like she had been on a boat for a few hours and the waves were still rocking underneath even though she was now on dry land. She reached out and came in contact with something soft and grabbed it.

"Veronica? It's okay."

She opened her eyes and realized they had been clenched shut. Everything ached. Logan slowly came into focus, sitting by her side with a concerned look on his face.

"You're at home," he offered.

She glanced around and saw she was in her bedroom, her duvet gripped tightly in her fist.

"I took you straight home. You've been out cold awhile."

"You stayed with me?"

He nodded.

"The whole time. No one came near you, I promise."

Veronica sat up slowly, her hand moving forward until she came into contact with his face. She gently brushed her fingers down his cheek, looking intently into his soft brown eyes.

She leaned forward until her lips met his. Logan kissed her back for a second, before he moved away, his eyes now swimming in emotion. He shook his head.

"You want to do that when you are fully conscious? Fine by me. But not now."

Veronica glanced down for a second before she pushed him until he was lying down and moved so she was in his arms. She closed her eyes and fell back into a dreamless sleep.

------

"Welcome to Mars Investigations," Veronica greeted with a bright smile. "Please take a seat. What can we help you with?"

Keith was in Mexico on a bail jumper case and had left Veronica to take care of the office. He made her promise to only take on easy cases and leave the hard or dangerous ones until he got back. If the worst came to the worst she agreed to give them Vinnie Vanlowe's number. Anyway, it looked good on them if they had to turn customers away because they were so busy, Keith pointed out as Veronica nodded, knowing she was going to ignore everything he said.

The man's suit looked like it cost the same as a year's college tuition. His shirt was perfectly pressed. His thick, silky tie was in a Windsor knot. She looked him over, noticing the expertly razored hair, and smooth shave. He reached out to shake her hand and she shook it. She noticed his neat and buffed nails as he drew his hand back. This guy made her manicure look shabby.

He took a seat in the chair opposite the desk and sighed as if his words were going to cause him great pain.

"My wife was sadly killed in an accident a week ago."

It was odd the way he had said it, Veronica decided. Although his expression was sad, the tone was clinical and orderly, which matched his appearance.

"Her car spun out of control and it went over a cliff."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Veronica replied.

"The odd thing is, all our bank accounts disappeared the day after she died. I was trying to straighten them all out, but it seems like none ever existed. I don't need the money from our mutual accounts, but would like to find out where exactly they have gone so I can access them. She wouldn't have wanted the bank to swallow her money. I was going to donate it to different charities in her name. I want this kept quiet, which is why I came to you."

Veronica nodded. "That's very generous of you, thinking of others in your time of grieving."

_Blah, blah. Just tell them what they want to hear._

"I just need to take some details from you."

Veronica asked, pulling out a pad of paper and grabbing a pen from the pot. "What was her name please?"

"Her name is Anna Walker," he said, tapping his fingers against the desk.

Veronica carefully jotted it down, making sure her expression didn't change. "Any other details that might help?"

John Walker began to describe everything in great, glossy detail as Veronica took quick notes.

_It was a real shame that Anna Walker's accounts weren't going to be found. Not by Mars Investigations and certainly not by Mr. Walker_, Veronica thought to herself.

She hid a smile as she put her pen down and looked back up at him. "We'll get on that straight away, thank you for coming to us."

"Well, you're the best in town," he said with a pleasant smile.

"That we are," Veronica agreed.

------

"That's everyone?" Veronica asked, scanning the crumpled piece of paper Weevil handed her, "What were you doing? Chewing this?"

Weevil shrugged, ignoring her question. "That's everyone."

"You haven't left anyone off because you think it isn't them?"

"No. I listened the first three times you told me not to do that. This is everyone."

"Good."

"What now, boss?" Logan asked, leaning on the hood of Veronica.

"Now we find out as much as we can on all of them. General routines, what they do when they aren't with Weevil. We'll have to bug some of the likely candidates."

Veronica pulled out a handful of electronic listening devices.

"If you can attach them to things they carry on their person, that'd be great. Cell phones are perfect."

"Pay As You Go Virgin." Logan said with a leering smirk.

"They are easy to hide in them; watches equally, otherwise, use your imagination." Veronica continued.

"Brass knuckles?" Logan suggested.

"Let _Weevil _use his imagination," she corrected.

"Hm, two leggy blondes in my bed, not really wearing much, although I wouldn't say no to bondage – possibly handcuffs."

Veronica rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Once you've done that, report back to me, I can listen in and get info. That's about all we can do now."

"Okay, boys and girls." Logan exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "Let's get to work!"

------

The voice cracked on the computer as she worked to tune it in to the correct frequency. It sharpened and became clearer. Veronica pushed her headphones into the socket and put them on quickly, before Mac, who was working next to her on her homework, recognised the voice.

She had been flicking between the three bikers she had narrowed it down to using the schedules she and Weevil had put together.

Mac glanced up when she briefly heard the voice and smiled at Veronica, with an arch of her eyebrow.

"Up to no good again?" she asked with a teasing tone.

"Oh you know me," Veronica said breezily.

"Need any help?" Mac offered.

"I got this one covered, thanks anyway." Veronica replied, flicking through the channels, her mind on Mac as she began to talk about the latest hard drive on the market.

"…Felix…stabbed…" a voice cracked and Veronica jumped to attention.

"Shh!" she quickly said to Mac, who stopped talking abruptly.

"Echolls is going to go down for it with that witness. Bastard deserves everything he gets."

There was more interference as Veronica frantically stabbed at the buttons to get it to come across clearer, only hearing a few words clearly. He definitely said coke, she decided.

"Good bit of irony there, an 09er going down for one of our crimes," another voice said and Veronica strained to recognise it. Suddenly the voices stopped and Veronica's heart jumped when she realised the program had crashed.

"Dammit," she cursed. "Goddamn it!"

------

"I need you to do something," Veronica said, standing in front of the brown haired 09er.

"Do I know you?" he snapped, before he smirked. "Ah, you're Veronica Mars, aren't you? The girl Duncan Kane and Logan Echolls take turns banging."

Veronica scowled and pulled out her taser, sparking it a few times for good measure. He wasn't going to agree to this without some kind of visual encouragement. The smug look disappeared and he took a faltering step back.

"You get drugs from PCH bike gang, correct me if I'm wrong – which I'm not. I need you to point out to me _who _you are getting the drugs from."

She pulled out a bunch of pictures for her bag and handed them to him. He continued to stare at her with a frightened look.

"Hurry up!" She demanded, "I don't have all day."

He began to shuffle through them, keeping a wary eye on her hand.

"This one," he finally said.

Veronica narrowed her eyes as she surveyed the picture. "Thought so."

She snatched the pictures back him, shoved them in her bag. Veronica pulled her phone out, quickly typed out a message and sent it to both Logan and Weevil. Things needed to start happening.

"Right, you need to go and find him and arrange to meet him tonight. Make up some quantity of drugs you want and offer good money for them."

"I've got enough at home." he said quickly.

"You think I care? Do it. Now. You don't have to be there tonight, but if you want to keep your limbs, you'll find him. Oh, and I am _way _more scary than a biker. Got it?" Veronica folded her arms across her chest as she stared at him coldly.

"Okay," he conceded.

------

Inky darkness surrounded the school as she waited. The parking lot was completely empty. It was a cloudy night and Veronica shivered, pulling her sweater tighter.

Wind whipped around her, sending leaves up into the air, swirling them around and then dropping them magnanimously in new patterns on the concrete. There was a noise behind her and she turned to look. Veronica squinted in the darkness as she checked, there was no one there. She felt alone and vulnerable. Sure, she was hidden behind a shed but easily found if she was honest with herself. She heard footsteps behind her and whirled around, her heart beating furiously until she caught sight of Logan and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Wow, you almost looked happy to see me," he said. "So, going to let me in on the plan?"

A glimmer of annoyance shot through her at his sarcastic words.

"I just need to check across the parking lot first, make sure no one is around. Think you can handle that?" Veronica asked icily.

"Yes, M'am. I can just about handle that," he replied as he strode off.

Veronica bit her lip as she watched him before she looked away. She glanced around. Where the hell was Weevil? He was supposed to be here by now. She turned to look back but Logan wasn't in sight. She frowned, and stepped forward, trying to see where he had gone.

She heard voices drifting across towards her, sounding more and more angry. Veronica shifted from one foot to the other as she tried to make up her mind what to do. She started towards the voices, then changed her mind, stepping back to the sanctuary of behind the shed. The voices reached her again.

_Goddamn Weevil, he was supposed to be here to stop anything like this, _she thought lividly. Veronica fished her taser out of her bag for the second time that day and walked hesitantly in the direction Logan had gone.

She heard the sounds of a fight break out and began to run frantically, her hand stilling her camera around her neck. Logan finally came into view, exchanging punches with a biker Veronica recognised as Thumper.

A pang of guilt hit her; she had sent Logan off before Weevil had even got there. That wasn't the plan, but he pissed her off within seconds of seeing him _and _she hadn't expected the bikers for another fifteen minutes.

Something flashed silver in the night, catching her eye. She narrowed her eyes before realization hit her and before she could stop to think she was screaming.

"Logan!"

A loud bang sounded and a bullet flew through the air, a second one ricocheting off the ground in quick succession and Veronica ducked. When she looked up again, Thumper and Hector were running in the opposite direction. Logan lay sprawled across the asphalt. She crawled to him and looked down at the blood seeping from his midsection.

"Oh god."

"What the fuck?" a voice said from behind her. "Ambulance, please. Neptune High…"

The voice faded out as she looked at Logan, his face pale in the moonlight. She let out a gasp as she watched dark liquid pooling around him. His eyes were closed and he was breathing shallowly.

Veronica clung to his hand, for a moment lost.

_Gotta stop the bleeding. _

She took off her jacket, gently applied pressure. There was something warm, dark and wet leaking through her folded jacket. Her hand slipped, and she gagged when she realized why her hands felt so warm.

_God, there's so much blood._

She felt like throwing up but fought down the urge until someone gently pulled her hands away and stood her up as they loaded him into the ambulance. The same person slid their jacket over her shoulders and drove her to the hospital. Veronica realized when she got there it was Weevil, but felt sick, so didn't say anything.

Glancing down, she saw her hands. Logan's blood had dried to her hands. Her fingernails were crusted black in it. Helplessly, she looked at Weevil.

"I've gotta wash my hands."

She got up and ran to the bathroom. Weevil watched her go, his face an expressionless mask.

"Just wait." he mumbled to the empty waiting room, "She'll go all Lady MacBeth on my ass."

------

Veronica sat in the waiting room for the rest of the night, waiting for news of any kind.

It was her greatest fear, someone phoning her to tell her Logan had been seriously hurt and now the day had come.

And she had caused it.

------

Purposeful footsteps sounded in the hall. Veronica looked up hopefully, although weariness was present in her eyes. It was about the hundredth nurse to walk past and ignore them, so she was surprised when the nurse stopped.

"He's stable and awake," she announced. "But it's family only in ICU."

"You know who he is, right?" Weevil said incredulously. "His ma's dead and his dad is in jail. I don't think any _family_ will be visiting."

"It's hospital policy," she said firmly, before carrying on down the hospital corridor.

Veronica looked back at Weevil, a slightly lost expression on her face.

"You gonna let that bitch stop you?" Weevil asked pointedly.

She shook her head slowly, getting up. She quickly found herself outside of Logan's room, having dodged all staff and their questions.

The palms of her hands were flat against the glass as Veronica gazed through the window at his sleeping form. She heard a noise behind her and quickly pushed through, shutting the door quietly behind her. Veronica crept over to him and put her hand over his.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She leaned down, resting her head next to his hand. Her eyes began to slowly shut when his hand moved and she jerked upright.

He was staring at her, his eyes red rimmed and blurry.

"Logan," she said quietly, "How are – "

"Did you know?" he interrupted, his words slightly slurred from the pain medication. "Did you know they were going to be there?"

"I…"

"How could you not tell me? I guess I should have guessed when you told me to look around, but why didn't you tell me they were going to show up? You had to know, why else were we meeting in the parking lot at night?" he rambled.

"I didn't know they would be there so soon. I didn't know you would get hurt," she said vehemently.

"You're such a cold bitch."

She looked at him in shock for a second before a tear trickled down her cheek. Her breath hitched and her hand came up to cover her face.

He winced at her reaction, "I don't understand why I love you, you almost got me killed."

Her hand dropped from her face and she gaped at his words.

"It's sick that I still care about you."

"I care about you too," she protested. "I swear I didn't know they'd be early. I'm so _sorry_."

He continued to stare at her, the look on his face moving from indifferent to angry before his pain meds won and he drifted back to sleep.

------

Very few people were on the streets of Neptune when Veronica arrived at Mars Investigations. The sun had only just risen, casting a bright glimmer over everything.

She rubbed her tired, aching eyes as she went into the office, and sat down heavily. She massaged her pounding temples briefly before she reached out and flicked the radio on, a desperate loneliness making her crave friendly voices, even if they weren't for her.

"_A hold up at the Wal-Mart last night ended up with two people injured and one person dead. The four men escaped with around $500. Police are holding inquires."_

Veronica began to clear through the files, putting them in their rightful places and sort through the pile of phone messages, into ones that had been dealt with and the ones that still needed doing.

"_The Aaron Echolls and Lilly Kane tapes are still missing, Sheriff Lamb confirmed today in a brief statement. He added that security measures have since been stepped up when it comes to their evidence collection and storing procedures. He also verified someone internally had been fired over the incident. "_

She gritted her teeth as she winced, torn between anger and sympathy for Leo.

"_John Walker, the founder of "The Last Wish Foundation," a charity created to fulfil terminally ill children's last wishes, was found dead in his offices at 137 Wyler Drive today. His wife, who Ms. Walker's doctors reported was carrying child, died tragically earlier this month after driving over a cliff, although her body was never found. Investigators claim Mr. Walker was shot by his wife's lover, Adam Scott. More news at 11."_

She must have heard wrong. John Walker was killed by his wife's ex-lover? Suddenly, Anna's story wasn't adding up. Veronica's hands started shaking.

This wasn't happening. Logan was in a hospital bed because of her bad judgement and now a man was dead?

Would this have happened if she hadn't helped Anna Walker? How could she have been so stupid? Letting her suck her into her little sob story. It all became clear, Anna just wanted his money and probably her lover's baby.

Veronica felt sick as she banged her head on the table in anger and frustration. Her cell phone began to ring and she slowly fished it out of her pocket.

"Hello?" she managed.

"Hey there, Superfly. I didn't expect you to answer, was gonna leave a message," Wallace said brightly, "I'm coming home today; I'll stop by just after lunch?"

"I can't wait," she said, forcing warmness into her voice. "See you then."

She spun the phone around idly as she gazed blankly into space.

She'd been wrong. An innocent man was lying in the morgue and Logan was in hospital, seriously injured because of her poor judgement and rash actions.

Things had to change. She realized she had to be more careful of the decisions she made and the people they effected. She had a lot of things to make up.

Veronica picked up the phone. But first, there was one, last rash action she had to do.

------

Veronica pulled into the hospital parking lot. As she made a sharp turn, she stopped the pizza and Gameboy from sliding off the passenger-side seat. Logan, after all, was picky about his pizza. She was just about to get out of the car, when the afternoon news came on over the radio.

"_This morning a substantial, posthumous donation was made from Mrs. Walker into The Last Wish Foundation. Reports say the figure was somewhere in the millions and a spokesperson said the money would benefit children all over the country."_

A small smile played across her lips as she pulled the keys from the ignition. Some rash acts were totally worth it, others, well…

Her smile disappeared. She picked up the pizza and gaming device before heading inside. Others, people she loved, would be paying for a long, long time.

------

_fin_

Thank you very much for reading. I normally use three little stars to separate different scenes, but it wouldn't allow me on the first chapter, even when I tried to insert a line break in HTML. I have tried again this time with lines, but if that doesn't work I give up – I'm sorry and I hope it doesn't ruin anyone's enjoyment of the fic. Please let me know what you think!


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